Yesterday my niece came over with curtains that she had adapted for my windows. She is a beautiful young woman and mother—she has also had some tough times. We were talking, and I asked her if she had a dream, some vision to lead her to a new place. Her eyes watered as she told me she was almost afraid to dream a new dream. Not all of her dreams have worked out as she had hoped. She said something that was very profound. Basically, she said she was afraid to dream a new dream and have it not work out—but to have no dream was even worse.
I smile to myself as I write this because while we talked she was stroking the seams of the curtains she had sewn. She loves fabric, loves the creativity of seeing color and line come together.
Sometimes our dreams are sitting there in plain sight—we just can’t see them. If we follow our spirit into the things that are right around us, we may find the path that we thought was eluding us. I am learning a lot about this right now. In my last post I was bemoaning the fact that I am nearly an elder and yet my dreams are the dreams of a much younger me. The fact of the matter is that we don’t always have to understand how the dream will come about. It is magical—or mystical. We follow the spirit and synchronicity and the greater force take over. There is order in a seemingly chaotic world. I believe this to be true, but we have to set aside worry, fear, doubt, and the lack of confidence and trust that good things can come from that small push from inside. My niece loves fabric. The mind will say how can I make a living from this, how can I learn to turn this into something that supports me body and soul? We sometimes have to tell the mind to take a short hike on a very long trail. It is such a cliché but I love the saying, “Do what you love and the rest will follow.”
My niece didn’t know this, but she came in with her curtains at the moment when we were doing some of the final polish on the interior of our house. It has been three years in the making—hard work, sweating in the heat, pushing on when we had no clue how to do what we were trying to do. And she came in with the pretty curtains to hang on the windows—just the right touch to warm the space, make it a home and not a house. Your timing was perfect, my girl! Last night I pulled the pale curtains on the darkness of the night. You can do that for yourself, too.
Yesterday a woman and her daughter visited the house to see what we had done. She was amazed and asked how we learned to do this. It seemed crazy, but I said, “From a book.” It was the truth. How do you know when you can build a straw bale house? When you have built it!
My goal, from this moment forward, is to follow my spirit in all things and not to question every step. Will our new ten acres of land (which is at this moment still strewn with trash and old shingles) one day be a place of beauty, of community, of gathering, of growing wonderful foods and meeting wonderful people? Of learning and spiritual development? Oh, yes, I can see that. I can put my trust in that. I can say yes to spirit.
Just a note to all of you who live nearby. We have been included in a local sustainable home tour. It will be this Saturday, the 28th, from 10-11 at our house. You are all invited. Here is a link to the whole tour.
Note: The picture is actually my niece. She posed for a book cover for us and Milt played with it. Nice. Be sure to subscribe to my weekly posts (below or in right corner) and do pass it on to others.
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