The other day I was working through my do-list for the day, and every time I looked at the clock I thought it should be later than it was. It felt like I was in a time warp. And then I realized that I was just working more in my natural rhythm again and that it felt good. I don’t handle stress very well–my breathing gets shallow, my body feels achy, and fatigue sets in too easily. We aren’t meant to work at a break-neck speed every moment of every day.
The garden is nearly to bed, my addition is built (sans the installation of the pine ceiling boards and greenhouse), and I’ve finished four of the writing contracts I’ve been working on. And school is beginning to feel in sync. I won’t say that I am completely caught up, but getting there.
I have to remember why I moved back to northern Minnesota. I wanted to slow things down, take time for myself, grow beautiful things from the earth and from my own spirit. I just need to be clunked with a 2×4 every once in a while to be reminded of this.
Milt reminds me that I am, after all, a Baird. We Bairds are notorious busy-bodies. We grew up in a household with 8 kids, a creative dad, a hard-working mom. Idle time was not something we knew what to do with. Even now every time we get together and get into some kind of planning or creating mode, somebody gets a pencil and paper out and starts scribbling or sketching just like my dad. Most of us should live three lifetimes in order to do all the things we want to do. It is just who we are.
Sometimes (like tonight) when I get three hours alone in our own house, and its raining out and there is no immediate task to do, I feel a little disoriented. Tonight, in my much-needed quiet time, I had to scrape some bad paint off my newly painted cupboard and redo it because it was bugging me. Oh well.
All in all, though, I would have to say that I really am living “no ordinary life.” It is a life chosen by design and some days I have to pinch myself. I remember the quote they chose for me for my high school yearbook when I was a senior. It said, “Let me live in my house by the side of the road–and be a friend to man.”
That seems like a pretty decent aspiration. Actually, it seems like I have pretty much arrived at my destination.
PS–the image is of my new asparagus plants embedded with my strawberries.