Monday went by, and then Tuesday, and now it is Wednesday and I still haven’t posted anything for the week. It is funny how making a commitment to do something every week plays on the mind. I was going to skip the week but find I just can’t.
Two nights ago I was so tired from canning and gardening and mudding and building 3-minute radio features on the Dakota War of 1862. I was sitting on the couch. The television was on. My eyelids were drooping. Milt was on the other side of the couch, so I toppled over and put my head in his lap. He started rubbing my head, massaging my scalp in the way he knows I love. I could feel my whole being responding to his touch. I felt like a kitty cat. I purred a bit. I was almost afraid to move because I was afraid he would stop. I realized suddenly how needy, almost lonely I was for this contact. We have been running double time all summer and not taking enough time to just be. Just be.
When I sat up again, I said, “I didn’t realize how out of touch I was.”
Milt laughed. “Out of touch—such a good phrase.”
I need to remember that we have human bodies that need to be loved and touched. As Milt likes to say, the skin is the largest organ in this body. It doesn’t like to be out of touch.
Tomorrow I am going off to present at a 4-day Presbyterian Women’s Retreat in a beautiful place outside of Brainerd. Oddly, the Bead People were the first to attend this retreat two years ago at their winter retreat. Some of the women had heard of them and wanted to play with beads during their retreat. After that event I asked the organizer if she would consider me as a presenter. So, last summer I did a workshop and this summer they invited me back as their keynote. I am excited about spending four days exploring our relationships with these women. I even found a brand new notebook to maybe retreat and do a little free writing just for me during the four days.
I’m also a bit nervous about holding the role of keynote presenter. I will be doing a talk every day plus a couple of workshops. There is a certain performance pressure there—will I be okay? Will I be able to engage them fully over the days? I intentionally did not “practice” but decided to go and work at being fully present and in the moment. Lord knows I’ve developed enough tools to talk for a week without running out of things to say or do.
Most people would not think this of me but I am a shy introvert in my heart. It took years for me to train myself to stay my age and not be that shy fifth grader when I wanted to talk to others. She is still in there, but I take special care to “stay in touch” with her. That is one of the things I want to share at this retreat—how to stay in touch with ourselves as well as others.
I’ll let you know how it goes! The Bead People will be there again keeping me company.
Home and garden are looking great. My pantry is filling with pretty jars. The garden is gorgeous and we finished doing the finish plaster on the front of the house—had to add a few more rocks and carve an OM into the mud. Too fun.Share on Facebook