Coming into View of the Self

What am I doing here!

My goal has been to bring you both new and old (but useful) writings here.  Over the past few days I have been doing my personal inventory for the New Year.  It is a bit late, but then so are the Christmas Cards that didn’t go out this year. Anyway, here is a question that keeps rolling around in my head?  What am I doing here?  I thought the question applied only to this blog and what I wanted to do here.  But the questions keeps growing.  I have dedicated so many years to trying to understand why human beings act like human beings.  It sounds silly, but the the inquiry has been real for me.  I have studied the brain, multiple therapeutic modalities, the worlds  of philosophy and psychology and spirit.  I have a degree in psychology and an advanced degree in human development.  I’ve written a dozen books and read a thousand or three.  And still I have no answer.

I guess it does come down to the one question–what am I doing here?  Sometimes I think that I should be like the character in Candide.  One of my favorite stories.  While Candide has been off traveling the world and getting into all kinds of scrapes in his search for “the best of all possible worlds,” he comes home one day and sees this old man in a garden living his life like a happy clam.  If memory serves me, he asks the old man the secret for his great happiness and the old man says, “I just tend my garden and happiness comes.”

I could be doing that (well, as soon as the 50 inches of snow are gone) and not breaking my heart trying to figure out why human beings act like human beings.   What a strange life’s work that is.  Human beings are a violent, loving, confused and confusing  tragic and heroic, crazy and extremely sane creatures.  There is no single answer to why we do the things we do.  Having said that, it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t ask the questions.  Right?

Today I did my “morning pages” on questions themselves.  I am still messing with it and will post it later, but I am intrigued with the question itself.  The truth is, I like to ask questions.  In fact, that may be more true than the idea that I am on a big quest to understand why human beings act like human beings.

Questions are fun.  Questions are juicy.  Questions bring more questions.  Questions make me hungry.  Questions make me full.  Questions turn my head around and questions twist it back again.

Ahh, maybe questions are my garden and I am simply tending my garden.  When spring comes I will tend my berry plants and put seeds in for carrots and cukes and tomatoes and I’ll watch those grow and grow just like my questions.

Today I was reading another guy’s blog and was stunned at how much he had posted.  And how many readers he had.  And I decided that my goal for 2011 is to ask my questions publicly and to show my underwear by dragging out old questions even when they are painfully lacking answers.

Let’s have some fun with this, okay?

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Coming into View of the Self — 2 Comments

  1. I don’t think your inquiry is at all silly. I spent over 30 years trying to figure out what motivated people.

    Lucked out in ’98 when I met Barbara Wilson on line & she wrote about George Kelly’s Personal Construct Theory. While intended to help treating the mentally ill, the theory and corollaries help make sense of all kinds of human behavior. The book, “A Theory of Personality” published by W.W. Norton in paperback in ’63 gets at the basics nicely.

    The nice thing about finishing the search for “THE ANSWER” is more time can be spent experiencing and enjoying the awe and wonder of life. It’s inspiring to see you both search and enjoy so well at the same time. Thank you.

    • Hi Bill,
      I will take a look at Kelly’s Personal Construct Theory. You needed worry about how much you feel like posting. I like that we are talking about important matters and exploring things together. Have you ever read Joseph Chilton Pearce? He was an important part of my early thinking.

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